Originally posted on April 30, 2014
Quit your
Bellyaching, Already!!
(I’d never say what you thought…at least I wouldn’t write it!)
Earlier this month I was in NYC, and I witnessed something fascinating. On Monday, I was overlooking Central Park. Coming from Chicago, where spring had barely shown itself at all, the park looked similar…dormant…until I walked through it later that morning. Spring was actually a little further along with the daffodils and many other flowers already in full bloom. However, the trees still looked bare. Every morning, I looked over the park and every day I walked through the park. By Wednesday, when I looked out the window, the trees had budded and many were in bloom. What I found so strange was that in only 48 hours, I felt like spring had sprung…right before my very eyes!
I share this story because our own lives are very similar to the life of Central Park, and nature, in general. Some opportunities in our life seem to grow naturally and quite quickly, like indigenous plants. Some things in our life we work for by watering and fertilizing, for example…we cultivate relationships at the office and work hard to receive the promotion. And some things we want, but we feel, for whatever reason, it is absolutely impossible for these things to ‘grow’ in our life.
4/2014 L. Picchietti Many of us ask the question, “…but, how do I cultivate these seemingly impossible things?” Great question! Let’s break it down…beginning with setting the foundation to cultivating what you want to grow in your life.
1) Be Specific
For many of us, the main thing that gets in our way of ‘growing’ something in our life is that we don’t know exactly what we want. To keep my nature metaphor going…it’s like standing over a parcel of land and wanting a garden. But specificity is key. Do you want tomatoes? Zucchini? Perhaps you don’t want a vegetable garden at all, and you want a garden of wild flowers. Get as specific as you can.
2) Understand Why
You may have never wanted a garden before, so why do you want it now? Uncover your feelings of why you want it, as well. What will you feel when you have this garden? Healthy eating more vegetables? Accomplished that you worked hard to cultivate this garden to full growth? Happy that you spent more time outside over the summer? Save money by growing own vegetables.
3) Re-evaluate…over and over again
In order for our ‘want’ to grow, we must evaluate and re-evaluate over and over again…and checking in with ourselves, incorporating our personal perspective, values and beliefs. Maybe your perspective is that growing pumpkins is easy, so that’s what you plant. But you don’t even like pumpkins, pumpkin pie, pumpkin soup, pumpkin bread, nor the seeds, nor carving them at Halloween! So, although it might sound good in the beginning because it may be ‘easy,’ a pumpkin garden wasn’t what you wanted. By re-evaluating often, you can change direction, if needed.
Now that you’ve tilled your soil and have your foundation, let’s move into some strategies:
1) Create New Habits
Create new habits that support your vision. When things in our life aren’t working out as we hoped, we fall into old habits because uncertainty creeps in. ‘I’ve never been able to keep a house plant alive, what makes me think I can grow a garden.’ So, it’s easy to just give up. Keep the faith. If this is what you truly want, create new habits to support your garden. Water every other day, fertilize once a week…you get the jist.
2) Believe
If you think something is impossible, then it’s going to be impossible. Period! But this is your old way of thinking. Time to try a new way. This is a skill to be honed…learning to truly believe it is possible. You also want to learn to believe in your self. (there’s so much more to this, but I don’t want to write a manifesto!! Call me, I’ll coach you through this process!)
3) Create a Bridge
To get from where you are to where you want to be, create a bridge. You don’t have to jump off blindly into the great unknown. Look at your resources…who can you call upon for support? Who has created a successful garden that you can talk to, etc.?
4) Baby Steps
We can’t do it all overnight. Although it looked like the park bloomed within days, the trunks, branches and roots of the trees and plants have been preparing themselves to bloom for some time. So, if you want your garden to grow, it’s time to take action. What’s (at least) one thing you can do today to get your garden started?
5) Continue to Take Action
Each day, continue to ask yourself, what’s one thing I can do today to cultivate my garden? And then DO IT!!
6) Patience Young Grasshopper!
Oftentimes, our timing isn’t the same as the timing of whatever we are cultivating. Some things take time. Be patient and don’t give up because it’s not happening as fast as you want. Like nature, things take time to grow.
7) Expect the Unexpected
Your garden might not necessarily look like you originally imagined. Be open to that. What does grow might surprise and delight you.
So, what do you want to cultivate? A promotion? Financial security? New job? Love? Less stress? More fun? Better health? What are you waiting for?
Quit your b#@*^%ing and do something! Making excuses will not grow your garden. The time is now to spring into action! You might be surprised how quickly something can grow, but, you’ll never know unless you try!
Here’s to you, growing your blissful garden!
Lesley Picchietti, CPC, ACC, ELI-MP
© Inspire Bliss Coaching and Consulting 2014
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