You’re Dead to Me!!

You're Dead to Me!!

Originally posted on January 16, 2015

You’re DEAD to Me!!
Fifteen days into the new year.  How many resolutions have you already broken?
Last month on HOLY SHIFT! we discussed preparing for the new year and how to truly set yourself up for success. But how do we really do that?  If you have had the same resolutions every January and have not yet been successful, or if there is something you want in your life that is eluding you, then read on!
I received many calls and emails regarding the 12/15 show, especially regarding our first tip to success in 2015, so I wanted to continue the conversation. 
But, let’s start at the very beginning…a very good place to start. (For those of you singing here…I Love You!!)
Let’s first define success.  It’s a bit of a slippery word because many of us see it very black and white..It’s either success or failure. No gray area. 
According to Webster, success is defined as:
1) the accomplishment of an aim or purpose
2) the attainment of popularity or profit
3) a person or thing that achieves desired aims or attains prosperity
That’s all fine and dandy, but what really matters is how YOU define success. Say it’s a year from now and you are reflecting on your accomplishments of 2015.  What would have happened for you to believe you had a ‘successful’ year?  Think about it and be specific.  In addition, allow for a gray area.  If you tried something new, that is a success, whether or not you mastered may be irrelevant. 
That brings us to the First Tip of your Fab, Fun and Fierce ’15! 
1) Let it Die!
This triggered all the calls I received. It sounds harsh, and it is!  But this is what we want to do before we can begin to move forward in the new year.  Dying can be perceived  as a big loss, and it might very well be.  But it also allows you to release the excess weight, baggage, all the stuff that’s sucking your energy in unproductive ways.  Energy that, if used to help move you forward instead, could be just the thing to make this year different.  What do you choose to NOT bring with you into 2015?
Perhaps you’re holding on to an old relationship.  You may not even want this person in your life, but your thoughts are still full of memories, regrets, conversations, etc. You may still look at their Facebook page just to get a glimpse into their lives. It’s understandable to do that, no judgment here. However, this is energy being used up with no ROI!  This energy is also holding onto space that, if you were to let it die, would make room for someone new to come into your life.  I’m specifically using the word die because it’s more permanent than letting it go. (Feel free to insert singing here!)
Here’s another example…as many of you know, I spent over 15 years as a jazz vocalist and band leader.  Over the past several years, I have moved out of that part of my life, but, I still had my website. I hadn’t updated it in over 5 years, but I was still paying for it.  Now, it wasn’t that much money yearly, but it was something keeping me tied to my past.  A past I loved very much, so it’s not necessarily only letting things die that might be causing you pain.  It was simply taking up space in my life for no good reason. I also still had every hard paper file for every gig I did those 15 years.  Yeah, that’s a lot of files!  Why am I giving space, physically, mentally, emotionally, etc., when they no longer serve a purpose?
WHY?  What was I afraid of to let these files and the website go?  It may have been because it was such a huge part of my life, but it was time to ‘let it die.’  Truth be told, I had a friend of mine (Thanks Dee!) pdf my website pages so I have them to show my great grand nieces and nephews, or to peruse myself when I’m old and gray..well, older and grayer!  But, bottom line, I chose to create space for something new. And I wanted the file space!

Perhaps you are holding on to anger or regret?  How do you think you would feel differently if you let THAT die?  Seriously, folks, this can be a powerful exercise!  

To learn additional steps to move you forward in reaching your potential in 2015, click here to listen.

If you are already struggling with not sticking to your resolutions, or if you don’t even like the thought of having any as they make you feel like a failure, here’s something else you can try.  Pick a theme for 2015.  Identify what it is you want that is truly important to you.  Possible themes…love, peace, accountability, purpose, strength, fun, creativity, wisdom, and the list can go on and on.  As you make decisions throughout the year, you can simply come back to your theme and decide how is this decision supporting your theme? We broke this concept down on our 1/5/15 HOLY SHIFT! show if you want more explanation.
Where do you want your life (your health, your relationships, your financial and/or work situation, etc.) to be a year from now?  You CAN make it happen!     
Here’s to your blissful Fab, Fun and Fierce ’15!
Lesley Picchietti, CPC, ACC, ELI-MP
© Inspire Bliss Coaching and Consulting 2015
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