I’m Not Scared!!
During the Halloween season, a lot comes up around fear. We carve scary pumpkins, we watch scary movies, we play a scary soundtrack for trick-or-treaters, and some of us even like to have scary costumes. But in our everyday life, many of us state that nothing really scares us. Well, I don’t want this to sound rude, but, you’re all big fat liars!
Here’s the deal…fear hides in many places with many masks. So, unless you are achieving absolutely everything you want in your life in the areas of health, finances, relationships, career, fun, hobbies, joy, everywhere…then fear is holding you back…somehow.
I have several clients right now struggling with procrastination and indecision. That is often tided to the fear of executing something perceived as not good enough or making the wrong decision. It may seem easier to just wait. Perhaps the decision will sort itself out before you’re forced to make a move.
You might be avoiding a difficult conversation. Guess what…FEAR!!! Fear of the possible undesired outcome. You can dress it in any costume you want…I don’t want to hurt her feelings; I don’t want my boss to think I’m ungrateful; I don’t want to get caught up in the drama of my friend; but let’s just call it what it is…fear!
Avoidance can be hiding your fear of failure…if I avoid signing up for the 5K, I avoid facing the possibility of not finishing. If I don’t ask for the raise, then I can’t be turned down. If I don’t reach out to that prospective client, there can still be an ounce of, ‘maybe they’ll hire me.’
Many of us struggle with not having enough time. This can also be one of fears best disguises. You don’t have time to go to the gym could translate into…You have a fear of being judged for your weight, or, you are fearful that people will think you’re being selfish taking time for yourself. We may even have fear around having to sign up to volunteer for our kids class for fear of being called out by the other parents.
Fear doesn’t have to be huge, like my fear of getting sick, hurt, or even dying if I go parachuting!! It could be my fear of taking on more clients because then I might not have the time I want for loved ones. I told ya, fear is a slippery little sucker!!
So, let me ask again…
what scares you?
Here are 3 questions you can ask yourself to begin to uncover some of your fears:
1) What do I want…really?
2) What’s keeping me from taking action to achieve what I want? (By the way, you can blame this on everything and everyone outside of yourself, but, spoiler alert…you are the only one holding yourself back!)
3) If I moved forward toward something, what’s the worst that can happen?
Having some clarity about what you want and the understanding of what’s the worst that can happen, leaves you with 1 final question…What do you want to do?
Do you want to move forward despite the fear of failing or looking stupid? Do you want to stay right where you are now and play it safe? Do you want someone to answer the question for you? There’s no right or wrong answer here. It’s just what do YOU want to do?
Last October, in 2014, I held the Fearless Fall 31-Day Challenge (or opportunity, as I called it!!). Every single day in October, I faced some sort of fear, big and small. It was an extremely interesting exercise. It forced me to look at those things I wanted and what was really getting in my way. What would you if you took on this opportunity for yourself? What have you wanted in your life that you are currently not achieving? Less stress? A new job? More time for yourself? Once you identify the fear that’s holding you back, it’s your choice what to do next.
Here’s to uncovering, saying hello to and blissfully facing your fears!!
Lesley Picchietti, CPC, ACC, ELI-MP
© Inspire Bliss Coaching and Consulting 2015
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